Guest Blogger Series #2 - The Four S’s of Secure Attachment: Healing Trauma Through Connection and Trust

Guest Blogger Series

Remnant Counselor Collective is excited to host a Guest Blogger Series, featuring authors from respected Christian publishing houses such as InterVarsity Press and NavPress. Each post highlights topics drawn from the authors’ recently published books and includes links to learn more about their work, purchase copies, and read their full bios.

As with all guest contributions, please note that the views expressed in these posts are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Remnant Counselor Collective. We believe in discussing every relevant topic and creating space for thoughtful dialogue and diverse perspectives within the Christian counseling community.

If you have questions or comments related to a specific guest post, we encourage you to reach out directly to the featured author using the contact information provided in their bio.

About the Author:

Michael John Cusick is the CEO and founder of Restoring the Soul, an intensive counseling ministry in Denver. He is a licensed professional counselor, spiritual director, and former assistant professor of counseling at Colorado Christian University. Michael is the author of Surfing for God, and his articles have appeared in such places as Relevant, Huffington Post, and Red Letter Christians.

PURCHASE FROM NAVPRESS: Sacred Attachment

BUY ON AMAZON: Sacred Attachment

BOOK INFO: https://www.ivpress.com/sacred-attachment

EXCERPT: https://www.ivpress.com/Media/Default/Downloads/Excerpts-and-Samples/A0831-excerpt.pdf

Visit his website at michaeljohncusick.com.

The Four S’s of Secure Attachment: Healing Trauma Through Connection and Trust

Like most new parents, I couldn’t wait to hold my infant daughter.

Because my wife and I adopted her from China, because of all the hurry-up waiting we had endured, because of how quickly the tempo can change in the administrative and bureaucratic dance, my tentative anticipation only shifted to confident expectation when I landed in Beijing. Finally, all the requisite forms were completed, interviews conducted, and details concluded so I could now bring her home.

Even after I landed and began absorbing the reality that I was crossing the finish line of this patience-stretching process, I was still holding my breath, figuratively and often literally. Nothing could now overcome my determination to hold my daughter, Lily, and welcome her into our family. When that moment finally came, however, I was nonetheless unprepared for the overwhelming power of our connection.

One of our adoption counselors had emphasized the vital importance of not only holding my daughter closely and carefully but allowing her to experience skin-on-skin contact, to hear my heart beating just as she had heard her mother’s in utero. So I wanted to begin my role as a father to Lily with extra intentional care. To let go of all the challenges of the process and to embrace my baby daughter.

She looked so innocent, so beautifully dependent on me and her new mom. Cradling her in my arms, gently swaying to rock her to sleep, I sensed a visceral power rising within me, a primal urge to protect her, nurture her, and defend her with my life if needed. Seeing how helpless she was, surely this was what any parent would feel.

Shortly after her arrival, however, I began to experience something completely unexpected at the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. Previously buried memories of my childhood sexual

abuse surfaced and caused panic attacks as a result of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). While I had already remembered more than enough of the unbearable incidents of abuse I suffered, these new memories felt exponentially worse. Memories of my uncle taking me to a smoke-filled, seedy hotel room in the city where we lived and allowing other men to use me in exchange for cash.

While the two concurrent emotional experiences—welcoming and holding our daughter as well as remembering and reacting to new horrific memories of my childhood—seemed coincidental, I eventually realized what they had in common. They both revolved around attachment.

While I was aware of being abused by my uncle, I had never consciously remembered being trafficked in a rundown hotel room. Yet my body remembered even before my mind could catch up. Then as I remembered and began processing the specifics of suppressed trauma, I felt intensely vulnerable, childlike, fearful, anxious, and needy.

And what I longed for and needed as I absorbed the impact of such horrendous memories were the same four things my new baby daughter needed—to be seen, soothed, safe, and secure.

These four S-words summarize the fundamental human needs each of us experiences as newborns, as children, as adolescents, and as adults.

These needs are wired into our DNA to ensure our survival and ability to thrive in the world. We must rely on relationships with others around us in order for these needs to be met. The method and degree to which they were met when we were infants and children also determines how we learn to relate to the world around us. Or as we counselors like to say, these needs shape our ability to attach and form healthy, securely attached relationships—or not.

A secure attachment is the basis for being able to trust and to have a solid sense of self, being able to experience (through your five senses) healthy intimacy whether together or apart with others in relationship. Securely attached, you practice the ability to take care of yourself as well as ask for help as needed. Curt Thompson explains, “Security is about being able, in the face of feeling seen, soothed, and safe, to move away from our relational base and step out to take the risk of new adventure, whether it’s across the crib, across the room, or across the country.”

Whether as infants or adults, as we draw conclusions about our needs to be seen and soothed, we begin to see how they relate to our needs for safety and security. Babies absorb the emotions of

their caregivers and develop an awareness of their surroundings and any imminent dangers. Toddlers who hurt themselves because no one stopped them from touching the flame of a candle, sharp

objects, or unfriendly pets form an awareness that their surroundings are harmful, painful, and dangerous. Once their autonomous nervous systems are conditioned to being tripped frequently,

then their heightened nervous systems remain in fight or flight, on red alert, regardless of whether there are any actual threats.

If the need for safety goes unmet consistently, then it’s likely a secure attachment will not develop. An overall sense of security remains lacking as well. If your caregivers did not see you and attune to your needs, if they failed to comfort and soothe you consistently when you experienced pain of any kind, if they could not assure your safety—or worse, harmed you themselves, directly or indirectly—then a sense of security could never develop. Security requires loving presence that is consistent and predictable.

We expect the children in our lives, such as my infant daughter, Lily, to be needy and dependent. As they mature into adulthood, however, we expect them to grow, learn, and become independent. We hold these expectations for ourselves as well. Only here’s the problem: What if we have failed to grasp the extent of our secure attachment needs and the impact of how our needs were and were not met while growing up?

Please listen carefully. The way we relate to our environment, events, and other people often results more from our past conditioning than our present choosing. Our early development and family of origin profoundly affected our nervous system, which determined whether we would have a secure attachment. And that wiring is the basis for trust, including trusting in divine love.

Adapted from Sacred Attachment by Michael John Cusick. ©2025 by Michael John Cusick. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press. www.ivpress.com.

Can Secular Counseling Theories Align with Biblical Integrity? A Christian Counselor’s Perspective on Foundational Truth and Therapeutic Technique A common question that arises for Christians working in helping professions, such as counseling, is whether they must make an exclusive choice between secular theories and the foundational truths of the Bible. Many practitioners and lay helpers alike grapple with the perceived need to either strictly adhere to a biblical counseling model or fully adopt secular psychological frameworks. However, the notion that these two approaches are mutually exclusive overlooks the possibility of a more nuanced and biblically sound perspective. This exploration argues that while biblical truth must serve as the primary and unwavering framework for Christian counseling, specific techniques from secular theories can be selectively employed, provided they are carefully evaluated and filtered through the lens of Scripture. Christians need not adopt secular theories wholesale but can engage with them through discernment and a commitment to biblical integrity (Jones & Butman, 2011; Johnson, 2017). The context in which this question is posed is significantly shaped by the increasing secularization of Western societies. Charles Taylor’s (2007) (Buy on Amazon) analysis in A Secular Age provides valuable insight into this transformation, moving beyond a simplistic understanding of secularism as merely the decline of religious belief. Taylor (Buy on Amazon) identifies a condition he terms “Secularity 3,” where belief in God is one option among many, contested and lacking the status of foundational truth. Within this secular landscape, the “Immanent Frame” prevails—a worldview that confines reality to the natural order, marginalizing or excluding religious perspectives on the complexities of human nature and well-being. Additionally, Taylor (Buy on Amazon) describes the rise of the “Buffered Self,” a modern individual defined by an internal sense of identity insulated from supernatural influences (Taylor, 2007). These concepts underscore how secular theories are often shaped by philosophical assumptions that may conflict with a biblical worldview. Nevertheless, Taylor (2007) (Buy on Amazon) warns against the “subtraction theory”—the belief that secularism is merely the absence of religion. Instead, he describes the “Nova Effect,” where secularism reimagines and proliferates belief systems. This implies that even within secular counseling theories, remnants of theological ideas may remain—although these often require biblical critique to determine their alignment with truth. The moral stance of “exclusive humanism” embedded in secular ideologies can implicitly challenge theism, further necessitating caution for Christian counselors. In navigating this secular environment, Christians can find a firm anchor in the authority of Scripture. Christopher Watkin’s (Buy on Amazon) Biblical Critical Theory offers a model for understanding culture and critiquing secular ideologies through the lens of the Bible’s unfolding narrative. Watkin (Buy on Amazon) introduces the method of “diagonalization,” where biblical truth transcends binary cultural dilemmas by offering a third, redemptive alternative. This framework equips Christians to evaluate counseling theories based on Scripture, rather than attempting to conform Scripture to secular paradigms. It highlights the importance of “out-narrating” rather than simply “out-arguing” secular worldviews, pointing to the power of Scripture’s redemptive storyline—creation, fall, redemption, and consummation—as a deeper explanation of the human condition (Watkin, 2022) (Buy on Amazon). Personal Reflection as a Christian Counselor and Professor As a professor with over thirteen years of experience—particularly in my time at Colorado Christian University—I have encountered this tension regularly among students. Many of them, especially those newly immersed in the field, ask, “If these theories that we're being taught and expected to implement are secular, how do I maintain my fidelity to the Christian faith and my obedience to Jesus Christ?” My response is often seen as controversial: You don’t need a theory. That statement surprises even some of my closest friends and colleagues, because it challenges a dominant paradigm in counseling education—that everyone must work from a specific theoretical orientation. But I see it differently. Though the Christian faith is not a theory, I believe we’ve become so disintegrated in our thinking that many struggle to see the faith itself as a sufficient foundation for the work of counseling. However, I would argue that the Christian faith—rooted in Scripture, guided by the Spirit, and centered on the gospel—is more than sufficient as both a foundation and a framework for therapeutic work. Consider the nature of secular counseling theories: psychoanalysis, Adlerian therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), motivational interviewing (MI), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), internal family systems (IFS), emotion-focused therapy (EFT), Gottman method, and rational emotive behavioral therapy (REBT). Each of these presents an interpretation of how the world works, what is wrong with people, where suffering originates, and what the path to healing entails. Is this not exactly what the Christian faith also does—but with divine authority and eternal truth? Christianity teaches the truth about sin and its devastating impact on our lives, our relationships, and the entire world. It also proclaims the ultimate solution: the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Yes, the implications of the gospel are profound and require theological depth and pastoral wisdom, but they offer the most complete framework for understanding and healing human brokenness. I am not suggesting that we reject all clinical methods. Rather, we must recognize that the Christian faith itself can serve as the counseling theory. From this foundation, we can carefully borrow techniques from secular theories—so long as those techniques are filtered through Scripture, aligned with biblical anthropology, and used to help people grow and heal in ways consistent with the character and truth of God. To understand the specific areas of compatibility and conflict between secular psychotherapies and Christian beliefs, the work of Jones and Butman (2011) in Modern Psychotherapies provides a comprehensive and critical resource. They offer theological assessments of numerous therapeutic models and advocate for a “critical, theologically informed appropriation” rather than uncritical adoption of psychological theories. Their framework evaluates each theory through the lens of Christian doctrines such as human depravity, divine grace, and sanctification. The authors also trace the historical development of Christian engagement with psychology—from suspicion, to over-acceptance, to careful critique—highlighting the present need for thoughtful theological discernment in clinical practice. Eric Johnson’s works, Foundations for Soul Care (2014) (Buy on Amazon) and God and Soul Care (2017) (Buy on Amazon),further argue for the richness of therapeutic resources within the Christian tradition. Johnson asserts that the Christian faith is inherently therapeutic, rooted in a robust theological anthropology and communal ecclesiology. He emphasizes that the church, not secular psychology, is the primary context for true soul care. While he acknowledges psychological insights as gifts of common grace, he insists that Scripture must serve as the canon and foundation for Christian counseling. Johnson’s approach affirms that a distinctly Christian understanding of healing cannot be reduced to secular mechanisms, even when such mechanisms are empirically validated. David Entwistle’s (2015) Integrative Approaches to Psychology and Christianity (Buy on Amazon) offers another helpful perspective. His “Allies Model” affirms the unity of truth under God’s sovereignty and suggests that psychology and theology can cooperate without compromising biblical integrity. This model emphasizes the necessity of theological primacy in evaluating any psychological insight and the importance of distinguishing between surface-level techniques and foundational worldview assumptions. Entwistle's taxonomy of models—including Enemies, Spies, Colonialists, Neutral Parties, and Allies—clarifies how different approaches to integration carry distinct theological implications. He also acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining theological fidelity across denominational lines and the risk of minimizing the gospel in pursuit of compatibility. Research literature supports the position that full integration of secular counseling theories with Christian faith can be challenging, particularly in professional and educational contexts that prioritize secular norms. Studies have shown that Christian clients may feel marginalized in secular therapy, and Christian counselors may struggle to uphold their faith while adhering to professional ethics rooted in secular humanism (Hook et al., 2012; Rose et al., 2001). While religiously integrated therapies have demonstrated effectiveness, they also require careful theological alignment and individual sensitivity (Tan, 2011) (Buy on Amazon). A client-centered inclusion of spirituality is not equivalent to biblical integration, and the distinction must be made clear. Other scholarly sources also support the selective use of secular techniques when filtered through a robust biblical worldview. The essential criterion for this discernment is the authority of Scripture. Theological principles such as the sufficiency, clarity, finality, and infallibility of Scripture must govern any use of psychological methods (Johnson, 2017; Jones & Butman, 2011 - Buy on Amazon). Spiritual discernment and the guidance of the Holy Spirit are vital in evaluating whether specific counseling techniques align with God’s truth. The phrase “Christian worldview” can aptly be described as viewing the world through God’s revealed Word—emphasizing that psychology can inform but never replace theology. Key Principles for Filtering Counseling Techniques Through Scripture Principle Description Sufficiency The Bible contains everything necessary for salvation and godly living. Clarity The Bible is clear and understandable to all believers. Finality The Bible is the ultimate authority in all matters of faith and practice. Infallibility The Bible is without error or contradiction. Conclusion Christians can confidently rely on the foundational truths of the Bible as their primary guide in counseling. While secular counseling theories operate within worldviews that may fundamentally differ from a Christian perspective, specific techniques from these theories can be thoughtfully and cautiously utilized. This selective borrowing requires a rigorous process of filtering these techniques through the lens of Scripture, ensuring they align with biblical principles and are applied with discernment. The ultimate goal remains the spiritual well-being and growth of the client, guided by the unwavering truth and love found in the Bible. Christians in helping professions can stand firm on this truth, extending grace and effective care by integrating insights from various sources while always prioritizing the unshakable foundation of God’s Word. References Entwistle, D. N. (2015). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: An introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration (3rd ed.). Cascade Books.(Buy on Amazon) Hook, J. N., Worthington Jr., E. L., Davis, D. E., Jennings, D. J., Gartner, A. L., & Hook, J. P. (2012). Empirically supported religious and spiritual therapies. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 68(2), 146–162. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20861 Johnson, E. L. (2017). God and soul care: The therapeutic resources of the Christian faith. InterVarsity Press. (Buy on Amazon) Johnson, E. L. (2014). Foundations For Soul care: Delivering and receiving biblical counseling. Zondervan. (Buy on Amazon) Jones, S. L., & Butman, R. E. (2011). Modern psychotherapies: A comprehensive Christian appraisal (2nd ed.). IVP Academic. (Buy on Amazon) Rose, E. M., Westefeld, J. S., & Ansley, T. N. (2001). Spiritual issues in counseling: Clients' beliefs and preferences. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 48(1), 61–71. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.48.1.61 Tan, S.-Y. (2011). Counseling and psychotherapy: A Christian perspective. Baker Academic. (Buy on Amazon) Taylor, C. (2007). A secular age. Belknap Press. (Buy on Amazon) Watkin, C. (2022). Biblical critical theory: How the Bible's unfolding story makes sense of modern life and culture. Zondervan Academic. (Buy on Amazon) AI Disclosure This blog post was created with the assistance of AI technology to ensure clarity, organization, and proper citation formatting. While the structure and research support were enhanced by AI, all theological and clinical insights reflect the author’s personal experience, convictions, and professional expertise. Readers are encouraged to consult Scripture and seek guidance from trusted Christian leaders and clinicians for further application.